The Silver Lining

I’ve been feeling myself increasingly agitated the last couple of weeks with the feeling of constantly rushing through each day. Up by 4:30am, rushing to get my son up and moving to get him to daycare on time. Rushing from daycare to get to work on time. Rushing from my lunch duty on the first floor to my classroom on the second floor so I can get to the microwave and not have to wait in line. Rushing through my (maybe) 20 minute lunch because chances are the kids will be in early from recess because that other teacher has to rush to his/her lunch or next class. Oh, and make sure to squeeze in refilling my water bottle and using the restroom. Rushing from work to pick up my son, then rushing home or running errands in between the rushing. Rushing to figure out dinner, cook it, eat it. Rush to get my son in the bath so he can get to bed on time. Then, finally, maybe an hour to myself. Oh wait, I have to sweep the floor, clean up whatever I didn’t get done in the kitchen after dinner, make my coffee for tomorrow morning (lord knows I can’t miss that!). Okay, now I can relax or work on that online course I’m taking, or that book I’m reading. Except at this point, I’m falling asleep on the couch and it’s not even 9pm. You get the point. I’ll bet you can even relate. Maybe your life is even more rushed than mine.

It’s been wearing on me lately, and I’ve finally realized why.

I was sitting in my lawn chair last weekend, basking in the warm sunshine as my son played in the giant mud puddle that is our lawn at the moment. All of a sudden, it felt like I’d been transported back in time exactly one year, when life changed for everyone. Most of us were working remotely. We only ran to the store for essentials. The majority of our time was spent at home, connecting virtually with the ones we missed the most, maybe more than normal just knowing we couldn’t go see them. Life slowed down and it’s exactly what, in my opinion, everyone needed. I felt weird having such nostalgia for a nationwide shutdown.

It goes without saying that this pandemic has not been easy on anyone. Our lives and sense of normalcy have been turned upside down. We have lost loved ones, watched people suffer from afar, we’ve been unable to be with family and friends for so long. We’ve watched our country become more divided than ever over what feels like every single thing. This last year has been unbelievably difficult. But deep down, I can’t help but think about the good that’s come from this last year.

Noting the silver lining that has been making its way to the surface for me, I think, is worthwhile. Maybe you haven’t had the same experience as me, but maybe, by reading this, you’ll take a moment’s pause to entertain an alternate perspective. This also is not meant, in any way, to discredit the hardships that anyone has faced through these unprecedented circumstances. These are just a few of the most poignant takeaways that have been on my mind, so I wanted to share.

1. Slow Down

Without the ability to go wherever we wanted whenever we wanted, or having to travel to and from work, drop the kids off at daycare and/or school, and pick them up and take them to the next thing, life slowed down. I didn’t have to wake up at 4:30am every morning. In fact, I slept until 6:00am every morning which I haven’t been able to do (with the exception of vacations and weekends) since my junior year of college! It was glorious! My time was mine. Of course I had responsibilities and deadlines to meet for work, but I wasn’t rushed. I could manage my time in a way that made sense for each individual day. I could enjoy my cup of coffee while snuggling with my son. We spent more time at home, together as a family because no one had anywhere else to be.

As an introvert, I like being early to everything so I can choose my parking spot, my seat, avoid small talk, etc., so I acknowledge my own role in feeling rushed. But since reflecting on these lessons, I realize that I really don’t have to leave my house by 6am. There’s some wiggle room there. It’s okay to say no if I need downtime or just want to stay home for the sake of not having to go or be anywhere or do anything.

2. Take time for Self Care

While being able to spend more time with my son was a gift, it also made me realize how important it is to take time for myself. In order to be the best version of myself for those who depend on me most, I need alone time and girl time with my closest friends. It’s what keeps me sane. Time to not be taking care of someone else or being responsible for them. Time to do what I want, even if that means just sitting on my couch reading a book or binge watching “Bridgerton”. Burnout is real. Take care of yourself so you can enjoy taking care of those who love you. Advocate for that time. Ask for help. Chances are, there are plenty of people out there who would be more than happy to take your kid(s) for a few hours.

3. Refocusing Priorities

My husband and I bought our house seven years ago. We’ve started projects and not finished them. We’ve thought about changing things but never made the time to do so. We’ve had the intention of doing a million little things but just haven’t. A year ago, we had no excuse to keep putting off projects. Tommy ripped up the carpet in our living room and hallway and put down laminate flooring. I built the flower bed in front of the house that I’ve been wanting to do since we moved in. We (and by we, I mean he!) tore down a stone wall that drove us kind of crazy in our wrap-around driveway. We got six (well, really 14, but that’s a story for another time!) chicks to raise for fresh eggs, something I’d been wanting to do for years! Together, we completed lots of other projects around the house because we made the time, and we’re still on a roll a year later! Our priorities have been refocused. We’re spending our money where it really counts and will benefit us someday in the future by increasing the value of our home. We’re spending more time together as a family, too, because we’re doing these projects together.

4. Appreciating What We Take for Granted

There are so many things that we take for granted in life until we had to learn to live without them: Hugs. Seeing people in person; let’s face it, virtual is great, but it doesn’t replace being in the same room. Running to the store for some ice cream or anything else you don’t really need. Going out for a meal; takeout is a close second, but there’s just something special about going to a restaurant to eat. Large gatherings; not always my jam, but not celebrating Christmas with my extended families was tough. Doing the fun stuff at school; no more class parties, sitting in a circle, working side-by-side with your best friend, seeing my students’ entire faces, flexible seating. Schools have done some amazing things through all of this, but nothing replaces the fun stuff that made me want to teach in the first place.

5. The Gift of Time

Because life slowed down, we had more time. We didn’t have to carve out an hour here and an hour there for this, that, and the other thing. Our time was ours. I already mentioned the gift of more time with my son, and I know that was tricky for a lot of other people not having schools and daycares open. But what a gift to have more time with our immediate family or whoever lives with us. It sounds cliche, but time is something we can never get back once it’s gone, and I’m grateful for any extra time I get to spend with those I love.

I feel like we’re also more intentional with our time, focusing on spending it in ways we really want to as much as we can now because we caught a glimpse of what it is like to have more control over our own time.

I can already feel the world speeding up again. Perhaps that’s why I’ve been on edge these last couple of weeks. So as we go into seasons where the weather is warmer and people tend to get busier and fill schedules, more people are getting vaccinated and are eager to return to “normal”, I’m asking myself what I want our “normal” to be.